Sugar coating this wouldn’t make it better.
You make me feel guilty. You make me feel guilty for caring, for feeling, for thinking. You make me feel guilty for trying, and apparently failing, to fulfill your expectations. But I don’t understand your expectations; I don’t understand your reasoning. I don’t understand the words that don’t come out of your mouth. I don’t understand the choices you make or the actions you take.
I can hear you, even when you think I cant and your words burn. I had made it my duty to comprehend the vastness that is you, but I can’t unravel it. And I am exhausted, this quest has consumed me for far too long and I am worn out. I don’t need to rest, I don’t want to stop, but I am attempting to remove myself anyway, because I know its what you want.
Can you blame me for trying? I guess sometimes the broken is truly unfixable, which is sad. And it makes me hate myself for wasting so much time, effort and thought. My apologies. I’m done now.
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