suite 925

shhh. its a big bad secret. but i have to tell someone. but who? you? nope you dont exist. hmmm. how about you....nah, you'd be upset. um. let me think...you. nope definitely not, been there, done that. i guess this one will just stay between you and me, dear diary. you're the perfect friend for me.

mmmm.

{41}

yellow. purple. red. black hole.

its dark and cold. on the inside and the outside. no matter how many lights i turn on, i can never manage to make it bright enough. that worries me. i drape a necklace of dull red jewels around my neck. it drips down my chest, and shines brightly against my soft black shirt.

clap clap outa here

hello little stranger. take a bite of my mind and watch me as i get smaller and smaller until i finally fade into a thing of the past. like a distant, 'oh yeah i remember...', memory. its going to happen, happen sometime, maybe this time i'll win.

ha. nope. win. i never do that. never ever ever. bite me.

count them, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, on and on and on and on.....all big cherrios looking right into my eyes.

{43}

who needs the words

i stepped in a puddle today. a big deep puddle filled with murky brown shit. i typically would have avoided it, for fear of getting wet. but today i stomped in the puddle. and watched as the dirty water quickly slipped off my rubber boots. each bit of water slid down my leg back on to the wet pavement where it belonged. is it bad that i see tears in every drop of liquid i see. it looks like everything around me is crying, even the sky.

why are all these objects so sad? is it because they are waiting to wake up? wondering when the dream is going to be over.

days drag on. few words barely exchanged as the weeks pass on. they've gotten less frequent, less spontaneous, and definitely not expected anymore. is it because everything appears appropriate and normal? things arent always as they appear. later is never. i've learned. time and time again, things arent always as they appear. yet if one keeps setting them self up for a trail of disappointment and betrayal they're bound to fall and crumble someday.

dont take yourself for a know it all, because you dont know anything. nothing about me nothing about this nothing about anything. again, later is never. im a stranger.

{46}

little houses on the hillside

hmmm. really? typical. im so not surprised. why look for a waterfall, when you have a bird pond right in your very own backyard. sure its growing algae, but hey the birds still like it, right.

dont dont dont. do. do. do. dont dont dont. ehh. what did i do now?

goose eggs. yes. big fat ones. look high and low. you'll see it.

rusty old metal

no you dont. NO YOU DONT!

dont pretend. you just look foolish. dont wait. it makes you seem careless. dont smile. that makes my stomach turn.

she looks but doesnt see. she listens but doesnt hear. she views but never reciprocates. she hides but never seeks. shes clever but silly (not a good silly, a stupid silly). shes lengthy, but not deep. shes short, but filled with sand bags.

i have to turn those songs off.

i want it to be christmas time. thats a really happy time. a really happy time.

p.s. ten days. all big fat 0's....SUCCESS! you'll never know it. ha ha ha.

wake me

holy shit. shake it off.

shake it offfff.