im too distracted to think about that. but its always here, i brought it and its close by. its a safety net. its comforting.

but i haven't thought about it...yet.

oh. that was a close one. it almost happened.

those few hours

should i be worried? because i am.

"my father, a closet astronomer, has tried to explain black holes to me, how they are so heavy they absorb everything, even light, right into the center. moments like this are the same kind of vacuum; no matter what you cling to, you wind up being sucked in."

that was not meant for your eyes. and yet you went ahead and did what you do best. you suck.

Remember that one day. It was after the good times but before the really bad times. The ceiling was white the walls were green and the pillows were pink. But you wanted to move. You always want to move. It’s irritating. Because I cant follow you, you move too fast. If you looked really close you would see the unthinkable. I did the unthinkable. Not it, that thing, not that unthinkable, but a different one. One that four and a half months ago would have been almost as worse. But right now it feels more right than ever. And I’m glad that you aren’t watching too closely, because for the first time in a long time I’m thinking about something that doesn’t concern you. So go on, keep moving.  I’m getting closer to happy without your help.